I want to share something very personal. Something very humbling and also something remarkable.
This isn’t about religion. It has nothing to do with rituals or traditions. I grew up with no religious upbringing and no church experience at all. I came to Christ at the age of 32 as a Prodigal son that God loved and never stopped pursuing.
I want to tell you about a moment in time that woke me up to how God understands you personally. He knows exactly what you need and will show up if you really want Him to.
Is your heart open?
Do you really want Him to show up? To show you the way?
This isn’t a guilt thing. That’s the enemy’s tool. God doesn’t guilt anybody. He invites us.
I had been a Christian for several years, was leading a men’s Bible study group and something bothered me about myself.
Do you know what COMPASSION is?
compassion
com·pas·sion | \ kəm-ˈpa-shən \
Definition of compassion
: sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it
Being conscious of others distress
A desire to alleviate it
That wasn’t me. I kept reading in my Bible how Jesus treated people. How He had compassion on the worst of society. The rejected, the shunned, forgotten and needy. He certainly had shown me compassion.
I would witness people in my own life who automatically had compassion for strangers in need and I didn’t. For them it was automatic and for me it wasn’t. I was too cynical. Too suspicious of others and their motives.
It really bothered me. I knew it wasn’t how I was supposed to be and I kept asking God why.
If you get nothing from this I hope you get this one thing. Never stop asking God questions. Don’t stop. Even the same question over and over. That’s what I do. Maybe I’m a pest because I don’t stop asking but there’s a great Bible story about that.
Luke 18:1-8 The persistent widow.
The key in these verses is someone who is persistent with a godless person till they get what they request and yet we won’t have the same attitude towards God who can grant us all things cause He loves us. Don’t miss the last verse….
“I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?””
Luke 18:8 NIV
It’s all about growing your faith.
Here’s my story.
I work at the Post Office. Been a Letter Carrier for 30 years. I call myself a “mail escort” but that’s my humor showing.
It’s an easy job but long hours. I love my customers, I give them the best service possible and have got to know many personally. They spoil me more than I deserve.
That’s the backdrop.
I was wrestling with God for weeks on why I wasn’t compassionate towards people. I could see people in need but I would hesitate and come up with an excuse for not just dropping what I was doing to help them.
Then some things happened in my life to set up the moment.
I got in trouble at work for not delivering an overnight Express mail on time that gets a refund if it’s not delivered by noon. My boss had asked me to go help someone before I did my own route. I forgot about the Express mail. It was delivered over an hour late. I told my boss what happened and he took the hit from his boss but warned me that the next time “he would have to be a boss” and I would get disciplined. He was a great boss and took those arrows that time for me.
So one day I was delivering my route and in a hurry. I had to have an 8 hour day cause contractually we need at least one a week. You can’t work overtime every day or anything over 8 hours on Friday becomes double time and heads roll. My day wasn’t easy and I was asking God to help me make it so me and my boss wouldn’t get in trouble. I have a perfectionist personality, which can be a curse, so I don’t like asking for help.
I was cruising along watching the clock knowing it was gonna be close, then I came up to a set of mailboxes near the end of my route.
This was the moment.
As I pulled up an older man was walking up to the boxes. He was bawling. Tears streaming down his face.
This was it. The moment I’d been pleading with God about. A moment to show a complete stranger compassion.
But I totally failed.
I asked him if he was okay but the only thing running through my mind was that I was in a hurry. I had to get back to the office and off in 8 hours.I didn’t have time for this.
He told me his wife was dying of cancer. There was no hope.
What did I do?
I said I was really sorry and that I would pray for them. That was it. In my heart, I was in a hurry cause my job was more important than this poor broken-hearted man.
Here’s the part people won’t believe or understand because it’s personal. It was a moment only meant for me.
After I had gave my halfhearted concern to him he looked me right in the eyes. He could tell I didn’t care. Do you know what I saw? It wasn’t him at all. It was the eyes of Jesus and my heart broke immediately. The man turned around and walked away. I sat there and began to weep. I had completely failed. I felt like Peter when he denied knowing Jesus as He looked right at him.
I wasn’t the Good Samaritan, I was the religious person in a hurry who didn’t care.
I got back to the office late. Missed my 8 hour day by about ten minutes. I expected to get in trouble for being late but my boss never said anything. I didn’t even get in trouble.
“The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him,”
Nahum 1:7 NIV
For days I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I couldn’t get the image of his eyes out of my head. They were broken-hearted but loving towards me even in my failure. I would shed tears all day and weep myself to sleep.
Then about a month later God showed up and changed my life for the better.
I had an overnight Express mail and it was getting close to noon so I deviated to go deliver it so it wouldn’t be late. Our scanner records the exact minute it’s scanned delivered and it’s a big red flag to upper management if it’s late.
As I pulled up to the house in a brand new neighborhood I looked at the name on the Express mail. It was the same name as the guy who had met me at boxes down the street and was crying. I thought, there’s no way. This can’t be the same guy. But what if it is?
I walked up to the door and rang the bell. When he opened the door my heart sank. It was definitely him. I told him I had an Express for him then I stopped and said, “You might not remember this but I want to apologize to you. You walked up to the mailbox crying and I failed you. I was in a hurry and I should have just shut my truck off, got out and gave you a hug, but I didn’t. I’m really sorry.
He looked at me and smiled then said, “No worries. I had been crying everywhere I went. That was at my daughters house down the street. My wife was dying and wanted to be with family. I just bought this house to be close to my daughter.”
Then he looked at me and said, “Come in, I want to show you something.”
I stepped into the house forgetting all about the overnight Express mail and delivering it before noon.
He started to show me beautiful porcelain vases and artwork that his wife had painted. She was a very good portrait painter and specialized in painting on porcelain and even taught it somewhere in Arizona many years ago. It was incredible work. Almost like putting a photo on a porcelain vase. Then he showed me a portrait she had painted of him holding their grand baby that was beautiful and he told me when she painted it she was going blind which was unbelievable. It was a beautiful picture and he was so proud of it. His house was like a mini art gallery.
Then he took me to a room and showed me the hospital bed she died on. Someone was supposed to pick it up but he couldn’t part with it. He wanted to keep it. His love for her flowed out of him.
After he gave me the tour I thanked him for sharing with me and I got to give him that hug that I missed the first time we met.
You see God is always the God of second chances.
But that’s not the end of the story. Here’s the personal stuff. The little things that won’t matter to others but mean so much to me and helped grow my faith.
I didn’t know how long I was in the house but as soon as we said our goodbyes my heart sank.
My scanner was in the truck and I hadn’t scanned that Express delivered yet. I was in big trouble. I ran back to my truck and grabbed my scanner to scan the delivery notice. Guess what time it was?
God is in control my friends.
It was 11:59
I scanned it delivered and wept in my truck. He was so good to me even though I failed. God showed me compassion cause I needed it. He restored me. He grew my faith and I learned that time isn’t beyond His control and what’s important is helping others in need.
It was an important lesson in my life. It changed me in many ways. Now I look for those in need rather than avoid them. My failures have become some of my biggest triumphs.
I encourage you my friends. If there’s something you want God to help you with. Keep asking Him. Don’t stop asking why.
But then get ready for what happens next. Your relationship with God will be as personal as you want it to be. It’s all up to you.
I want to thank Red Patriot on Patel Patriot’s Spitballers telegram chat for inspiring me to share this.
Be encouraged!
Blessings friends
Joe Lange, and to think you resisted so long in starting a substack!
I love the work, the message, and the person who writes this!
You are a fantastic writer and an even better person.
A beautiful lesson in compassion. Thank you for sharing such a personal and moving story.