A Time To Be Still

The Secret To Life

It’s been a very tough week.

Sometimes in a very busy life, you get reminders of what is really important.

That just happened to me.

I have a very blessed life and I know it. I’ve been very busy with work as usual and have been writing a lot for Badlands Media’s Substack. There’s so much huge political news on a daily basis that it’s hard to keep up with. It’s information overload and my brain is constantly running, which makes it very difficult to sleep too. I’ve had to do a lot more research in my writing than I’m used to and it takes a lot of time. Squeezing in time with my wife and friends in the evenings and weekends gives some relief from the news. It’s usually a lot of just hanging out and enjoying each other’s company.

That was a snapshot of my life for weeks on end. A very blessed life for me, but too busy.

I had become a “Martha.”

I needed to be reminded what was truly important.

There’s a great story in the Bible about two sisters. It’s always been one of my favorite stories in the Bible and I’ve shared it many times with others. God has often used this story to remind me that I’m too busy and I’m missing out on the most important thing.

“As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.””

‭‭Luke‬ ‭10:38-42‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Martha was worried about many things but Jesus said “few things are needed- or indeed only one.”

What was it?

Mary sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what He said.

Life is always about choices. God has shown me so many times over the years that I’ve neglected the most important thing. I need my personal time with Jesus. We all do.

I’m not a great listener. I know it’s a weakness but it’s also probably my greatest need. I’m still a work in progress though and thankfully God is faithful to help shape me into what I was always meant to be.

My wife and I hold a Bible study on Sundays with some friends from our old neighborhood that we still hang out with a lot. It’s always interesting and we look forward to it every week. We have great conversations and learn a lot about each other’s past and beliefs as we learn more about God, through His Word.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭27:17‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Several weeks back we decided to do a random study where we each picked out a woman in the Bible to study and share a great principle and why we felt that woman was important.

I of course, chose to share this story about Martha and Mary.

Let me ask you a question.

Where are you right now?

Where is your heart?

Are you a Martha or a Mary?

If you feel like Martha, frustrated and worried or maybe too busy, then you are in need of quiet time with God.

“He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭46:10-11‬ ‭NIV‬‬

I was in real need without even realizing it.

I was forced (gently) to find that time with Him through a very tough week.

A dear friend of ours passed away suddenly. It caught us by complete surprise and I heard the news one morning as I was getting ready to leave for work. I couldn’t go to work and I’m very thankful for the grace my boss gave me for the last second notice. We spent the day with his wife and it was a very difficult day. She’s heartbroken and so are we.

What was really tough is that we had just spent most of the weekend with them. They came over for dinner and game night on Friday, then we spent all day with them Sunday. We went and saw the movie “Jesus Revolution,” which I would recommend to everyone. It’s a powerful message and it’s very timely for what’s happening today. After the movie we had Bible study and then shared dinner again.

It was a great weekend.

The shocking news of his sudden passing hit like a ton of bricks.

Suddenly a lot of worries and busyness no longer mattered. They weren’t important anymore, as my priorities shifted. I’ve experienced a lot of death recently and had some very painful deaths from friends in my life, including accidents and even a suicide. I’m sure a lot of people have had similar experiences and can relate. Even the most blessed life is going to experience pain and it’s never easy.

I was reminded again of these verses that I have come back to often. They have helped center me back to my “true north.”

““Show me, Lord, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting my life is. You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Everyone is but a breath, even those who seem secure.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭39:4-5‬ ‭NIV‬‬

To add to the pain of my friend passing, I also got the news my Aunt had also passed in the same week. My dad’s only sister who always spoiled us as kids. We were the only niece and nephews because my dad’s brother and sister never married. I have some of the best childhood memories visiting them in Wisconsin during the summers. She was a real blessing and I really wish I had made more trips out there later in life.

My life is very comfortable. Maybe too comfortable or too much of a routine. In my busy life I was putting the most important thing last. Martha! Martha! Martha!

But through all of this I was blessed in ways that could only be God’s gentle hand giving me encouragement.

The weekend we had with our friend before his passing was a real gift. He was one of the few people I’ve met that was genuinely a kind soul. He always made people laugh and smile and was a joy to be around. One of the most positive people I’ve known. He always lifted people up and encouraged them, no matter what the circumstances.

He was recently diagnosed with cancer. It was an aggressive cancer and he was quickly scheduled for surgery. The surgery had gone well and he had recovered and was scheduled for more testing. Through it all, his personality never changed because it was just who he was. The last thing he wanted was anybody worrying about him. I lean that way myself.

It’s tough to talk about death, especially around someone who might be facing it in real time. He didn’t fear it though, because he already knew Jesus.

Here’s what I’ll always remember about that last weekend we had with him.

At Bible study he talked about how if it was his time, then he was ready to go. He said he couldn’t wait to meet Jesus and that they were going to have a great time. He was really looking forward to it. He also took the opportunity to close our Bible study with prayer which was a special gift. Being around fellow believers and talking about faith is nourishment for the heart. It was always a highlight of our weekend.

But here’s the real encouraging part of this story. I don’t believe in coincidences. I think God has a hand in more things than we know and is often times winking at us.

Guess what we were studying that weekend?

We had finished the book of Matthew and I got to choose the next study, so I chose the book of Acts because of the great stories and life lessons in it.

Our study that weekend got us through the first two chapters and at the end of chapter 2 was something that God used in order to encourage me through our friend’s sudden passing.

“Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.”

‭‭Acts‬ ‭2:46-47‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Breaking bread in our home and eating together with glad and sincere hearts. Praising God and enjoying favor.

That perfectly described our last weekend with him.

The short time he was in our life was a blessing and having the privilege to spend his last weekend together was a gift I will forever be thankful for.

We have become even closer with his wife and we’re always sharing great memories he’s given us. He’s lifting us up even after he’s gone. One of a kind.

Life is a roller coaster. Sometimes it’s exhilarating and sometimes a bit scary. You can be on the mountain top one moment and the next thing you know you’re in the valley.

My week had started in the worst way possible, but it ended with pure joy.

My oldest daughter and her boyfriend were flying into town for the weekend and I took time off work so I could spend time with them.

They live across the country so I don’t see them enough and life is always busy. That’s my struggle. Being too busy.

It was so great to see them. I miss hugging my kids. My daughter told me she misses my hugs too. That meant a lot. To just hang out talking and laughing was a real uplifting end to the week. Long distance relationships aren’t easy and you wish you could slow down time. I missed her beautiful smile too. She lights up my world. She’s in a really good place in her life and as a dad, that brings me joy.

Everything that happened to me this past week reminded me how important relationships are.

I need to prioritize my relationship with Jesus. I want God’s hand on my life. I need to stop each day and ask Him; What can I do to glorify You? Who can I help?

I really need to stop and listen.

To be still.

To open up his Word and let Him speak to me more. I need Him to guide my steps.

I also need to stop and listen to others more. To take the time to really listen.

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,”

‭‭James‬ ‭1:19‬ ‭NIV‬‬

That verse has always been a struggle for me. I don’t think anybody would say I’m a great listener. I’ve asked God to help change that.

I was busy with many things, I had lost the ability to listen and had neglected my quiet personal time with God. It’s the most important thing.

I would like to share a story now and hopefully encourage anyone who feels like a Martha instead of a Mary.

I’m not a public speaker but I did get asked to speak once at my church. It was an evening service in the middle of the week so it wasn’t a huge crowd but maybe the most dedicated attendees. Maybe a hundred people.

My pastor let me totally pick the subject matter so I could talk about whatever was on my heart.

God gave me the inspiration and I knew exactly what to talk about.

At the time I was leading a men’s Bible study group and I had several men going through a spiritual mid-life crisis. They had lost their passion and their faith had become stale. They were just going through the motions. It was more religion than a relationship with God.

I think a lot of Christians can relate.

I tried to use my message to encourage people who might be stuck in a similar place.

Have you ever seen the movie City Slickers?

It starred Billy Crystal and it was a movie about a guy going through a midlife crisis. He had a great life, kids and a wife, but had lost his passion and joy. He had become a complete downer. His wife didn’t want him coming on vacation with the family and instead told him to go with his friends on a trip to a dude ranch so he could find his smile again. The movie had a great message.

There was one scene that spoke to my heart.

Do you know what the secret to life is?

“One thing, just one thing.”

I used this scene in my message at church and related it to being in a spiritual mid-life crisis. How important it was to getting back to the much needed quiet time and the importance of renewing our personal relationship with God. Our joy and passion flow from that relationship and it’s the most important thing in life. It’s the secret to a better life.

I had prepared this perfect message for my first ever speaking moment and was excited to give it. My pastor had given me a time limit that it had to be between ten and fifteen minutes long. I had practiced and it was timed consistently around twelve minutes.

Then came my big moment.

Another big lesson in life.

I shared my message and it was all going well and then I skipped a part without realizing it until the end. I had left out an important point and my message had ended too early. It had only lasted about 8 minutes. My heart sank. I felt like I had failed.

My pastor was immediately up on stage thanking me for the great message and encouraging me but it didn’t help. I was about as discouraged as I’ve ever been.

My wife said it was really good but I was busy beating myself up for not being perfect. Being a perfectionist is a curse. You want to impress people and that was my problem. It wasn’t supposed to be about me. It was very humbling and I thought it was a missed opportunity because I had failed.

Then God sent me some encouragement.

As we were leaving someone came up to us crying. She was one of the parents that helped with the youth band that my daughter played in and they would let the kids practice at their house.

She told me she almost didn’t come to church that night. But as she sat there listening to my message it was as if she was there all alone and God was speaking to her heart. She couldn’t stop crying and it was what she needed to hear that very night.

God is good.

I learned another valuable lesson.

“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand.”

‭‭John‬ ‭10:27-28‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Jesus is a Good Shepherd. He will keep pursuing and find His lost sheep. He’ll even use an imperfect man like me to do it. Once again I was reminded that if I can only encourage one person then it’s worth it.

Have you been that one person?

Have you desperately needed encouragement?

Are you someone that God has used to encourage someone in desperate need?

We all need the same thing. A closer relationship with God.

“And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life.”

‭‭1 John‬ ‭5:11-12‬ ‭NIV‬‬

That relationship is the secret to life and a life lived abundantly.

Thank you all for your prayers during this difficult time.

Blessings my friends.