The gift.
A dear friend of mine once gave me a gift. It didn’t seem like anything special, but he wanted me to have it.
As it turns out, it was one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever received. It is one of a handful of things I keep, that are truly treasures to me.
What was it?
A small paperback book. It was in good shape but you could tell it had been read many times. At the time, I had no idea how much this little book would impact my life.
The first thing you need to know about me is that I’m famous for never finishing a book. I’m not really a book reader at all. But I’ve not only read this entire book, I’ve read it several times, wearing out the pages.
If you’ve read the book, then the title to this Substack article has given it away already.
The book is called “The Greatest Salesman In The World” by Og Mandino.
I highly recommend reading this book! Next to the Bible, this book has had the greatest impact on my life and it helps you to actually put Biblical principles into practice, and it does it by telling a beautiful story. It’s also a short book, perfect for someone like me! I put it on kindle on my phone for around $8. It tells the story of a young man who was given a gift. A treasure. A chest filled with scrolls. In the scrolls, were the secret to becoming a successful salesman. These scrolls contain principles, and when applied as instructed, will change you from the inside out, and that will affect everyone around you.
So now I would like to share how this book helped to change me and the EGR relationships in my life.
Remember from my first article that an EGR is an Extra Grace Required relationship. The difficult relationships that God has purposely placed in our lives. So how do we deal with these people? How do we change the relationship?
One word……LOVE
I don’t know about you, but the EGRs in my life aren’t very loving people. They aren’t easy to love because of that.
But maybe they haven’t experienced much real love in their life, or maybe they’ve been really mistreated and have become very bitter and resentful. Whatever it is, God is still trying to rescue them. He’s trying to show them what real love is. To change “their” world.
God isn’t asking us to change them. That’s His job.
He’s asking “us” to change. To change the way we see them, to change the way we speak to them, to change the way we act towards them, to change the way we react to them, and to change the way we greet them. Then God can use us to help change them.
Remember in my first substack, I said that your attitude towards someone is perceived whether you think so or not. If our attitude changes towards our EGR’s then the relationship will automatically change.
First Step
“I will greet this day with love in my heart. And how will I do this? Henceforth will I LOOK on all things with love and I will be born again. I will love the sun for it warms my bones; yet I will love the rain for it cleanses my spirit. I will love the light for it shows me the way; yet I will love the darkness for it shows me the stars. I will welcome happiness for it enlarges my heart; yet I will endure sadness for it opens my soul. I will acknowledge rewards for they are my due; yet I will welcome obstacles for they are my challenge.”
— The Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino
How you SEE things will affect your attitude. Do you see the positives in things? Or do you FOCUS on the negative? Do you understand how focusing on your EGR’s negatives will affect your attitude towards them? Will you choose to look for positives no matter how hidden?
Second Step
“I will greet this day with love in my heart. And how will I SPEAK? I will laud mine enemies and they will become friends; I will encourage my friends and they will become brothers. Always will I dig for reasons to applaud; never will I scratch for excuses to gossip. When I am tempted to criticize I will bite on my tongue; when I am moved to praise I will shout from the roofs……Henceforth will I remember this secret and it will change my life.”
— The Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino
Remember, our tongue can be used as a weapon or a tool. Are we destroying someone, or building them up? This part is important. Want to change your EGR relationship? Try complimenting them. Try thanking them for something. Those are two things that probably never happen to them. Can you imagine how that might change their attitude towards you? These are people “in need.” You might be the only one building them up and showing them love.
Third Step
“I will greet this day with love in my heart. And how will I ACT? I will love all manners of men for each has qualities to be admired even though they be hidden. With love I will tear down the wall of suspicion and hate which they have built round their hearts and in its place will I build bridges so that my love may enter their souls.”
— The Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino
This part talks about tearing down walls and building bridges to their heart by how you act towards your EGR. Searching for hidden qualities in them. You, choosing to be kind and friendly towards them even when they don’t deserve it.
Fourth Step
“I will greet this day with love in my heart. But how will I REACT to the actions of others? With love. For just as love is my weapon to open the hearts of men, love is also my shield to repulse the arrows of hate and the spears of anger. Adversity and discouragement will beat against my new shield and become as the softest of rains.”
— The Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino
Love is a weapon to open up the heart of your EGR and also a shield to protect you from hate. When you become a loving person you are less effected by the hard to deal with EGR.
Fifth Step
“I will greet this day with love in my heart. And how will I confront each whom I MEET? In only one way. In silence and to myself I will address him and say I Love You. Though spoken in silence these words will shine in my eyes, unwrinkle my brow, bring a smile to my lips, and echo in my voice; and his heart will be opened. And who is there who will say nay to my goods when his heart feels my love?”
— The Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino
This part right here is an important part. This isn’t about confronting an EGR, it’s about how you should be when you MEET them. When you’re around them. Remember your attitude towards someone is perceived whether you think so or not. How? Body language. Minute facial expressions that are perceived.
I’ve tried this personally with someone at work many years ago. A guy who was always angry, always negative, and didn’t like me personally. He would avoid me and I often caught him giving me an angry look. Like tossing daggers! He didn’t like me because when I filled in for him I would get done more than an hour earlier than him, every time. It was too easy and he knew it, but I made him look bad so he didn’t like me. I was reading this book at the time and I could feel God nudging me to make the first move so I decided to try this principle.
I went to work, and for days, every time I saw him or thought about him I said to myself silently “I love you, Steve!” I pictured each word in my head as I said it silently. Over and over again. For days I did this to change my attitude. To see him the way God saw him, so my facial expressions and body language would be open and loving towards him.
Then the moment came. We bumped into each other in the office and I said, “Hey Steve! How you doing my friend? You see that game last night?”
What I saw, was his face light up and a smile, as he began to talk to me. We talked about the game and parted laughing and smiling. It was amazing. From that one moment, our relationship changed. But that wasn’t the biggest thing. He changed. He became more friendly, not just to me but to everyone else too. It was like he had new life. He was released from the bondage of bitterness and resentment. Work became a joy instead of a burden.
Try it, my friends. Start telling yourself you love your EGRs by name, every time you look at them or think about them and see what happens.
Sixth Step
“I will greet this day with love in my heart. And most of all I will love myself. For when I do I will zealously inspect all things which enter my body, my mind, my soul, and my heart. Never will I overindulge the requests of my flesh, rather I will cherish my body with cleanliness and moderation. Never will I allow my mind to be attracted to evil and despair, rather I will uplift it with the knowledge and wisdom of the ages. Never will I allow my soul to become complacent and satisfied, rather I will feed it with meditation and prayer. Never will I allow my heart to become small and bitter, rather I will share it and it will grow and warm the earth.”
— The Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino
Loving yourself and taking care of yourself spiritually is very important. God is changing us from the inside out so that He can use us to change the world. Cling to God and seek Him!
Seventh Step
“I will greet this day with love in my heart. Henceforth will I love all mankind. From this moment all hate is let from my veins for I have not time to hate, only time to love. From this moment I take the first step required to become a man among men. With love I will increase my sales a hundredfold and become a great salesman. If I have no other qualities I can succeed with love alone. Without it I will fail though I possess all the knowledge and skills of the world.”
— The Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino
Try replacing the word sales and salesman with friends and friend.
“With love I will increase my friends a hundredfold and become a great friend.”
“I can succeed with love alone. Without it I will fail though I possess all the knowledge and skills of the world.”
That says it all my friends. If we want the EGRs in our life to change, we need to change first.
How we change the world is with LOVE.
Accept the challenge to change and see how it changes your world.
Please get and read this powerful little book. I pray it will have the same impact on your life that it’s had on mine.
“The Greatest Salesman In The World” by Og Mandino
I hope this helps you!
Be encouraged!
Blessings friends
This theme is the prose version of a poem I wrote once about an incident in my life where I came to the same realization that the ONLY thing in my power is to ask God to change ME. We can plead in prayer for other people and circumstances to change, but it has to begin with our willingness to BE changed. That's two home runs in a row. God has a started a great ministry and encouragement for the saints here. <3
Thanks Joe!